Headcanon A: realistic
He gets his dumb darkness skirt thing all tangled up between his legs and in the belts on it all the time and trips
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
While he takes on Sora’s face, Vanitas’ helmet is an organic part of him and anything under it when fully enclosed is melted into nothingness
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
You can’t really get much sadder than how his existence and circumstances are in canon, but honestly? The latter one for the headcanons below
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
He would completely eat up being the little spoon. This boy needs so much affection to compensate the shit he went through
Also he’s kind of a crybaby when he doesn’t feel pain for a longer period of time than he’s used to purely because he’s so relieved, exhausted, and terrified of the unrelenting anguish coming back and can’t really process it. It just translates into angry crying and him being immature to people who Don’t Get It