leonawriter:

rhinefall:

whetstonefires:

whetstonefires:

leonawriter:

@234am​ Yup, this is the email. And Zack gets the chance to join sometime during Chapter 6.

Oh, and – to make this a mixture of horrifying and funny, later on they refer to the fan club’s head at one point as ‘Chairwoman H.’ I’m sure you don’t have to guess to hard at who that might be.

And… come to think, I’m more sure that the ‘thirteen kinds of perfumes’ is just ‘there are thirteen of them, but they don’t all go in at once’, which wouldn’t be very logical.

i’m sorry, did you say changes daily? he washes and conditions approximately four feet of hair e v e r y  d a y?

apparently sephiroth’s hobby is “having a metric ton of hair”

tho if shinra makes him special perfumed hair products, that suggests the hair is in fact a PR stunt and part of his job…

which means the hours of daily maintenance suggested by that washing schedule are technically work hours……..

………….

do you think he gets paid for that time? never mind, he’s salaried. he’s totally salaried, no one is calculating Sephiroth’s weekly wages lmao.

seriously what did Sephiroth even do as his job.

did he have actual work. like, day-to-day responsibilities. beyond keeping himself in condition in case of strategic deployment. did he do paperwork. did he do Lazard’s paperwork after the dude booked. was that his paperwork before Lazard was hired or was there a previous Head of SOLDIER. is General even a real rank that he held.

was the Nibelheim mission representative. did they send him out to kill random things and fix technical issues periodically, to simulate having an actual use for him outside wartime. did he actually spend hours every day on hair care.

(was his dad actually the head of his fan club under a false name? ugh ugh ugh.)

this man had no life i’m actually concerned by the real possibility he didn’t exactly have a job either.

Iirc, after Zack gets promoted to First Class some of his duties include:

• Clean-up missions / monster exterminations / etc. – basically all the standard missions, but possibly with higher leveled monsters
• testing stuff for Materia Fusion / VR / Weapons Development / etc. – most of those are also part of the standard mission register, but are framed a bit differently
• exploring caves – which ultimately culminates in fighting the Goddess so RIP
• aftermath of the Wutai War – both the Yuffie missions and the Wutai insurgents / Crescent Unit (or whatever they’re called, I played the game in German and the translation is kind of shitty)
• doing a favour or two for Reeve / Urban Development because they lack funding – kind of optional, pretty standard
• giving speeches to infantry – as shown in a cutscene; maybe even teaching in some capacity?
• doing squats all over the place which I guess counts as keeping fit?

From Angeal there was also the mentorship thing, and of course there is the scene where the Trinity wrecks the VR Room. Apart from that there are some Third and Second Classes lounging around on the SOLDIER floor. ugh Luxiere uuuuuuuugh And Kunsel does whatever he does to get all the gossip… (AVALANCHE was also a thing, see Before Crisis.)

So I guess most of Sephiroth’s tasks would be of the PR and/or testing variety? Probably some paperwork? I can also see him being tasked by various board members (if that is the term…) to do random stuff, Hojo especially. I don’t really see him as the instructive type…

(I really should take some time and watch a playthrough of Before Crisis some time, there might be some info on how ShinRa functions in there…)

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I currently have hair that goes juuuust past my butt, so Sephiroth’s knee-length hair and everything we know about it is kind of hilarious to me; for one having hair at that length and leaving it loose pretty much is a guarantee for tangles, even with extremely smooth and thick hair. (I kind of lucked out there, and even so on loose hair days I have to go pick up a brush every two hours or so; most days I either make a bun/knot that is held together with a pen/chopstick (added bonus of having tools at the ready, or even a back-up shoe if you feel like using stilettos) or in a braid (on lazy days the same braid for up to three days with minor modifications).) Another thing is just the amount of stuff he puts in there? With conditioner it’s not so much how much you put in your hair (lengths), but more for how long you leave it in. As for shampoo putting just enough in so you can rub it all over your scalp is about what you should be aiming for. Anyway, the first time I read that mail I pictured full sized bottles (~400ml), but have since switched to travel sizes (~90ml) which is still a bit much but not that completly over the top. (I’m currently at about 40 ml conditioner and 20 ml shampoo per hair wash, but I put conditioner in dry hair, then put it in a bun and run off to do other stuff and I do not want to be dripping water around. I use less conditioner on wet hair, but wet hair is fucking heavy and my neck and shoulders do not like that.)

After washing, there is still the problem of getting hair dry again. The VR scene and the Nibelheim scene imply that his hair is flame-resistant, so I headcanon him as firing off a Fire spell or two to speed it up. (And then wince because heat to wet hair is so fucking damaging.)

Which still leaves the hilarity of having a mass of hair that is essentially a cape and a leather coat that also functions as a cape. And that’s just so impractical that it has to be either a PR thing or a hint of a personality, depending on the company line. (Personally, I lean more towards personality because the other person with basically a cape? Genesis. And not Angeal. Though it could also be that ShinRa says Sephirtoh has to be special and then Genesis goes like “hrmpf watch me”.)

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A little thing that I noticed when I watched a cutscene compilation instead of personally playing the game: In one scene you can see Lazard’s desktop, it’s open to a white page with illegible writing and a picture of Sephiroth. And I’m fairly certain that Sephiroth wasn’t involved in that one mission (briefing), which begs the question of just what Lazard is doing during comapny hours.

As someone who watches playthroughs, that means I don’t always get to see the details like this, so thanks for the added input!

As for Before Crisis, Sephiroth seems to be sent out on high-class monster exterminations, as well as essentially used as a weapon of mass destruction by President Shinra. So, if there’s something the Turks can’t finish, the boardroom meeting will hear a cry of “Then call in Sephiroth!”, to which I get the feeling like he’s… pretty much treated as an attack dog.

If the mission Lazard was sending Zack on involved Genesis and Angeal, it’s possible that it had originally gone to Sephiroth, who had delegated it off to Zack. So, Lazard might well be having a file open for that reason; the paperwork might be Sephiroth’s, a from he filled in order to do this, or Lazard’s, to explain what was going on to someone. Those are the more likely reasons that would still be within the company lines, at least… since we know from late in the game that he is, in fact, taking company funds.